Pacsun Ghost..

It was a while back at Pacsun, I had worked there for my first job; really good one actually, I enjoyed it very much. Considered myself special in a way; I mean it made me smile seeing as most first jobs consist of working at places like, food joints or convenient stores. It really wasn't that bad of a gig when it comes to mind; fold clothes, check hot girls out, and get high. Those were the days.

On one occasion I had the best and most particular day of my life working there. I was folding some shirts up in the front, just getting them sized up and getting them ready to put on the shelf when this girl came in. I don't remember having many first words for it but it was probably something like "Ha..ha...hi...." (meaning "hi")

I mean she was gorgeous, probably about 5'3" or 5'4", she wasn't that short at all but it was probably her summer heels she wore that made her seem tall. Though from my perspective her height was completely oblivious to me. In that exact instant and moment as she walked in, time itself froze just for me.

Within my instant of paused time; I looked deep in her soft green eyes and with a smile upon her lips, she looked back deep in mine. It was as if she knew that she had made my day; she had that walk, as if purpose had taken her over to bring her inside the store, or perhaps it was just her walk. She knew that I at that instant had eventually fallen face first for her. She was an angel with her dark brown hair, or something of an angel. She looked into me with those eyes, like she knew everything about me, everything. Her smile gave me the answer of "yes, I know how to make you smile."

Complete and absolute stranger to me, I had found a three letter word to write horizontally in my crossword puzzle, it was "her".

It's funny because she was only in the store for no more than five minutes. I was just so into her at that point. As soon as she left, my frozen time went back to life's normal warp speed. Though, as she left the store she decided to turn her head around just to smile back at me one last time, I hadn't even said "Goodbye" or "Thanks for coming." but she herself decided that she should smile to me, turn her head as she's right at the door and smile.

"Then.. she was gone like a ghost..." - Ryan

Je veux me situer à Paris.

"Over and over again..." That was what was spinning in my mind as she parked her red Mazda hatchback at Wal-mart. The song was playing on a constant repeat in my mind, though she would never know. No one would know, that secretly I had this extreme desire to leave her and explain my actions to someone I actually cared for. It was at this occasion that I realized that I was terribly unhappy.

Situations occur when certain things like this happen, they strengthen me and put me in a forward motion of where I must keep moving to find true motivation and happiness. It's here where I find that even though my fingers are freezing cold I must find the strength to keep moving on and keep typing my words in a melodic key and melody during type.

Many moments later I couldn't believe I had wasted so much time on someone that meant nothing when I could've been with someone who at one point of time meant the most. I remember I was too complicated in the first place. Doors were opened for me and I could've walked in but I didn't. It's kind of like having a beautiful girl offer you fellatio and you being a jackass turning it down.

"The terrible part within the entire situation was not that my current relationship at the time was a lie, but rather I was living the lie myself." - Ryan

Strangers play crossword puzzles to write blogs..

When ideas hit, they're like strangers. You don't exactly know who they are or what their intentions are, though you do know they come with purpose. That purpose is a crossword puzzle placed inside the Sunday paper which would take you forever to comprehend. Though, the simple fact is when you do comprehend it every thing seems clearer; you're boxes have letters, and your strangers have meanings.

Writers are filled with a certain mood that selects their words; carefully and precisely. I feel as if my moods are lost at times to where I'm prone to a sort of word constipation.

The unexpected helps with life; so I feel. I've come to realize that my best pieces come from an unexpected burst of constant words that play a certain part within my mind. Sadly, they only hit once and afterwards they are gone so ergo writing them down in that exact second brings life to my blog. The unexpected...

"Bowling with skates is hard, but thinking random is even harder." - Ryan

Time traveling nudity...

What if there was a way you could rewind every single thing you knew and start over? It'd be a certain time traveling venture that you would endure, leaving you cold, wet and naked in the past trying to relive every thing over again, maybe even making things just a little bit better.

If you could do just a bit better in school. Have that GPA that you needed to make it in the school that "you" preferred the most. Have that essay that actually captured the attention of the hundreds of board members for Universities. Making it through and actually sitting in absorbing all the knowledge you could. Becoming something you would actually admire today as you looked at your old high school diploma. You could've stop in the midst of things and realized that what you needed the most was a simple smile to get you up that extra point, that smile that would've lightened everyone up when they saw you.

If you could fix whatever was wrong in your marriage and make things right; get the kids back, sleep in your bed rather than the couch, and have the amazing joy of her kiss every single morning as you sat at the table for breakfast; with that sweet scent of freshly cooked bacon and eggs and freshly squeezed orange juice just lingered. You could take back all those hateful things you ever said to her, replace every curse with a smile. You could cancel beer with the guys on your anniversary and set up that candle light dinner that would be an everlasting moment in her heart.

If you could live and breath with those people who past away before you and share with them an extra moment, an extra smile, laugh, or perhaps even a good conversation to tell them how much they really meant and how much you loved them. You could look them in their eyes and carry that feeling that connects people with each other, looking deep into their blue, brown, or hazel eyes and realize you want this feeling immortalized because you know they'll be gone.



"If you could stop that one tear from falling by saying you're sorry and that you never meant to hurt anyone." - Ryan