age in motion..

We are men made of persistence; we struggle with each day differently, as boys we know only selfishness and understand only what keeps us content and satisfied, never are we concerned about the world around us. Awareness is the difference between each man, knowing what they touch: what they build and what they destroy. Understanding that every motion and decision we make ripples as if water in the open sea.

As I grow older; I see what results come from times of my youth, I notice slowly that the decisions I've made, the bridges I've burned, and all the people I've hurt have all been poisoned by my own touch. I'm aware of my mistakes and what cause it has taken upon so many people. Burdens are what I've built around me, my own youths selfishness remind me not to play as the boy, but to accept the consequences and push forward.

Growing older for me means searching for a way out, I'm always in search of opportunities to better myself for my family. My family; it's what I constantly think of almost always.. How I can create a life for my son that I could never have, one that wasn't meant for me but could be meant for him. As a parent we struggle to keep our children from making the same mistakes that we've made, we want them to be better than us, we want them to be more than us.

I couldn't tell you why I even bother writing anymore, honestly; I'm exhausted from all the bullshit that surrounds me. The stench of broken loyalties, the ignorance of burned bridges, the cries of stupidity. I am the circle that I keep and that is why my circle has grown small over the past years. Small to only the people that truly matter in my life, the ones that I know would help carry the burden.

The choice to be a man is to choose to be aware of what you've done wrong and what you've done right. Knowing, understanding and remembering the things you've touched. Being aware of every ripple it makes, everyone affected, everything connected.

"Bloodshot are my words, strong my heart, clenched are my fist. Driving on this dirt road until I find it's end." - Ryan D.